Branded Into the Brain

I’m sure people are very much aware of the sayings, “curiosity killed the cat”, “I will never get those moments of my life back”, “scarred for life”, “My eyes! My eyes!” and so on. At some point I have used all these terms because I became very much aware of how society is corrupting the media’s innocence. I’m sure we’re all aware of the explicit stuff one can find on the internet, television, or in video stores…but what’s been going on behind the scenes is the explicit nature that appears in books--the kind of books one sees in grocery stores with half-dressed people on the front. Or as my friend shamelessly calls them, “dirty sex books”. The type of book that hasn't been very popular in the current media…until now.

A picture is worth a thousand words. But one phrase can equal a thousand pictures. And one does not forget an image as easily as print. Savannah and I--she's a friend of mine previously mentioned in my other posts--are avid readers. I have her to thank for that. But both of us had experiences where our minds were tainted by one phrase. After returning from a long trip back home, she was unpacking her stuff telling me all about her adventures until she got to the book on tape she listened to during the drive. The book itself was intense and I’ll admit sounded very interesting until she reenacted the moment where the narrator used a descriptive sentence that was clearly leading to something, well…scandalous to our ears. And when she said, “And I was like…AHHHHH!!!!!! As I was trying to fast forward…” I screamed along with her! That was seven months ago and I still can’t get it out of my head!

My recent experience was when I was looking for a book to buy on Amazon.com. I clicked on “books” and this series called, Fifty Shades of Grey came up. I had heard of it, seeing it around Wal-Mart n’ such, but never took any interest. So I clicked on it to read the summery and reviews. As it turns out, some reviews go into a lot of detail on what the book is about. Ironically, all of them were negative. Considering I had no idea that it was all about…you know what…I read the excerpt of dialogue from the book a reader provided and learned things that I will never be able to unlearn—ever. I felt like I had lost my innocence with just one sentence and now it’s permanently branded into my brain.

I then realized something. We as women scrutinize men and automatically label them as perverts for looking at explicit images. And one begins to believe that women are the superior gender for not sinking to that level. But guess what? Those dirty books are basically free, literary porn! The women who read them are no better than those perverts! I shuddered at the thought of how true propriety has gone to the dogs. A fifteen-year-old girl back in the day who has read seven, 2-inch thick novels in one week would be considered well-literate and had found better use of her time. Nowadays when I hear the same thing and find out it was the twilight series and the fifty shades of whatever…I want to burn all those pages and salvage what’s left of our youth’s decency.

Those books that I’ve seen in grocery stores have in certain ways looked more appealing to adults than to teenagers. Basically it was because the book was thick, the print was small, and the cover looked like it was printed in the 80’s--the same basic characteristics of a textbook that a student loves to hate. However, when twilight came out the print was larger, a brand new font was used for the title, the cover was glossy and one bold picture was put on the front. This was an eye-catching trend because it was different and therefore it sparked curiosity and BOOM! It sold millions of copies. The same tactic is being used again, but with explicit content and parents don’t even know about it. They can assume it’s just another twilight book and will never know that the pictures on the front are actually used for sexual situations.

One may think because it’s not labeled as pornography, they're not doing anything wrong. But slowly your spirit will become negatively affected. Because once it’s deep in your subconscious, it’ll never go away. And if you let it build until it reaches the shallow surface of your mind, it can destroy you in many tragic ways. And it all starts with one book where you can say, "It's so good except for this one part..." For me, I allowed myself to read those kind of books, thinking I knew better to skip over those parts and focus on the story. Then I realized how often I would go back to read the parts I missed...then I would keep reading them over and over...and then I found myself depending on them for false happiness. When I took a good look at myself, I saw the dark place I put myself in and worked very hard every day to get back to my better self. What I'm saying is, I'v been there and there's a way to fix it as long as the person is willing. You'll get to a point where you'll see the difference between a good book and a candy bar novel--it's enough to satisfy a sweet tooth...but its all empty calories.

Pride & Prejudice

Since January of 2012 I have read approximately 150 novels. I consider it quite the accomplishment on my behalf. It’s helped me become more literate and reminded me how much free time I have, which I believe can be better spent getting a life—however, I enjoyed reading all of them. For my fiftieth novel, I chose one of the most well-known, revered and highly loved books, “Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austen. At one time I had absolute no interest in doing so. The language looked far too complex to understand and the thickness of it intimidated me. But I was later convinced. Here’s how…

While recovering from surgery, I spent a lot of time watching TV. And I was just about sick and tired of sitting through another cooking show. So I surfed the cable guide and saw a certain channel showing the 2005 version of “Pride and Prejudice”. With it being so late in the evening and in true desperation, I watched it. And throughout the entire movie…I laughed, I cried, I gasped, I sighed…and all in all, fell in love with the story. Knowing what I was getting into, I decided to get past my fears and read the book.
Here’s a brief synopsis…Elizabeth Bennet is the second oldest of her five sisters. Their mother is very eager to marry them off to rich husbands and each have a different opinion in the matter. Elizabeth personally believes in marrying for love and won’t settle for anything less. She meets the very high class, Mr. Darcy and immediately sees him someone who is prideful and snobbish. Both assume the worst of each other until their time spent in each other’s company, as well as admirable deeds done on their own time, prove those assumptions wrong.

For so long, I’ve listened to female readers gush about Mr. Darcy, and I had no idea why—even when I watched the movie. Okay, I had some idea…one can hardly resist the succulent voice of Matthew Macfadyen. But as I started reading this book, I slowly realized how all thoughts and explanations that one doesn’t hear in a movie is what brings Mr. Darcy’s character to life in the most realistic way. Elizabeth’s way of thinking is much similar to my own. When I see a person walk with an air about them that’s straight postured, always looking forward with a brooding face, wearing expensive clothing, being anti-social; I immediately assume they think they’re better me—that their “too big for their britches” so to speak.

With Elizabeth being lighthearted and knowing her personality would put Mr. Darcy out of his comfort zone, she did so with every intention to counteract his behavior towards her. But she was still judgmental. It took seeing his good ways and hearing accounts from the people closest to him to see how kind and generous he is. But at the same time, in a certain way he did find himself to be superior towards her. So when he (spoiler alert) asked for Elizabeth’s hand in marriage, his pride was hurt when she degraded his character—based off false information—and said no.

But here’s what makes him ever so dreamy. He’s one of those perfectly imperfect people. He lets go of his pride and loves her enough that despite the ill will she expressed towards him, he jumped through hoops and did everything in his power to help her in times of need. Even after she told him off, he remained civil and kind hearted towards her, all for the sake of wanting her to be happy—the mark of an absolute gentleman. Because of that she saw better of him and let go of her pride to admit that she was wrong. That was the “now I get it” moment for me.

A couple of lessons I noticed throughout this book. One: to assume makes an “A--” out of “u” and “me”. Two: get everyone’s side of the story before you believe one’s interpretation. Three: gossip will get you nowhere. Four: always be civil to one another. You never know if you’ll need a favor from them later. Five: always marry for love.
In modern society, men are not quite as refined as those who existed in this book’s era. And to be truly honest, I’m okay with it. My personal preference are men who work hard and aren’t afraid of getting their hands dirty. However, I refuse to believe that true chivalry will ever die. It is rare of course, but so long as women crave the attention of men who are remotely like Mr. Darcy, hopefully men will take the hint and see that being a gentleman will take them far. At the same time women can learn patience, acceptance and the cliché proverb, “Don’t judge a book by it’s a cover”—A phrase that I’ve used both figuratively and literally this week.