In a World of Color

We live in a world of color--surrounded by a vast spectrum of many different shades and hues that affect our mind and body in certain ways. The human body can physically react to certain colors that can affect our mood and functions. For example, blue helps to calm, indigo develops mental capacity, and green can supposedly relax the eye muscles. Psychology tells us that specific colors apply to specific personalities. Based on who they are, they could either be a red, blue, yellow or white. Yes, I have taken those personality tests many times and guess what? It changes every time. I honestly think it's a huge load of balony so to speak. So I've developed a different theory.

First off, there's more colors than the four that were mentioned. Gasp! No way! Anywho...each color denotes a different feeling. Here's an example... ORANGE--Helps to get rid of unpleasant emotions and forgive people, helps through hard times (broken relations, death of someone close) and assists in solving problems. It is the color of change between two opposing factors. If you are at a loss or have doubts, use orange. Orange is vibrant. It brings forth energy, rhythm, joy, emotion and cheerfulness.

This is where my theory steps in. Some people lack certain colors in their life and if one were to be in a constant shade of black, then their going to feel like death most of the time. If one were to make an effort to surround themselves in the color orange, slowly the subconscious will recognize it as a positive color and help with the daily problems associated with what orange can help heal.

For me, I was living in a bla kind of world. I lacked a lot of emotion and nothing was going on in my life. You could say I was surrounded in a lot of gray--a cool, conservative color that seldom evokes strong emotion, although it can be seen as a cloudy or moody color. Yeah...I wasn't that fun at parties until I made the best decision to move in with these two girls who had yellow and orange kind of personalites--bright, organized and concentrated--exactly what I needed. And they decided it was time to bring out the hidden side of me, burried beneath the clouds.

RED--Evokes a sense of safety and confidence in the future, helps to cope with life problems. Red can have a physical effect, increasing the rate of respiration and raising blood pressure. It stimulates the nervous system and releases adrenalin. Red is hot. It’s a strong color that conjures up a range of seemingly conflicting emotions from passionate love to violence and warfare. It denotes fire, heat, passion, aggression and anger, at the same time symbolizing life, energy, activeness, struggle and will.

Woah! How's that for a complete 180? I thought it was crazy and that it would never happen, all up until Savannah--remember her? She used a subtle approach in lending me a rather delicious book by the queen of kissing herself, Marcia Lynn McClure. If you read my previous posts, you'll know what I mean. She even sent me--not exagerating--36 text messages comparing the natural, heavy blush on my face to various red objects. Since then, I decided to take a personal effort in actually surrounding myself with those colors more often. I wore red lipstick, bought a red dress, wrote things down in a red pen and I honestly I find myself in a more energetic state. I feel like I can speak freely--strongly making my point without the worry of what others will think. I don't exactly live a life of passion...yet ;)...but it makes each day that much more enticing to live.

Ultimately, it's all about you. That's the only time you'll ever hear that, but it's true. You choose what you want to be and how you want others to see you. If you want to be more sensitive to others, use more pink. If you need peace, use more green. If you want to become more spiritual, use more white. You were born a blank canvas with many colors to choose from. You have the tools, now it's up to you to paint the beautiful masterpiece you were meant to create.

Remember those 36 texts? Well here's a few just for kicks and giggles...

Beet red.
Fire truck red.
Cherry jello red.
Pomegranate red.
Blood red.
Strawberry watermelon red.
Snow white’s apple red.
Checkered picnic blanket red.
Dixie red rock red.
My fully-clothed hugging balloon red.
Marlene’s hair red.
My polka-dot bedspread red.
Laser beam red.
Happy tulips red.
Long johns red.
Crappy photo retina reflection red eye red.
Cherry cordial chocolate chip ice cream red.
Cherry on top of delicious banana split complete with hot fudge, sprinkles, whipped cream, and Oreos red.
Rhubarb pie red.
Red raspberry cheesecake bites from krave red.
Free parking space on a monopoly board red.
Huggies diaper box red.
Half of google chrome’s logo red.
Robin Scherbatsky’s bedroom red.
Your smokin’ hot, ruby red lipstick red.
Delicious salmon with melted butter and lemon zest and oregano red.
Your sexy red shoes that match with your Spanish rose dress red.
Bright ribbons on a surprise Christmas package red.
And my personal favorite...As red as a (certain someone's) delicious power tie.

I purposely took out his name, otherwise I'll never live it down incase he sees this. But the last one has turned into the biggest inside joke I'll ever be a part of. While we're on that note, let me tell you men...you can't go wrong with a red tie. It just so happens to be a weakness of mine. ;)

Join the Club

Back in elementary school, I was introduced to many friends and the idea of divorce and getting remarried. Having grown up with idea of marriage supposed to be lasting a lifetime and longer, I couldn't quite grasp the concept of that. I couldn't understand why anyone would get married, then suddenly hate each other enough to cancel out everything they worked hard to build. But I didn't care so much about the parents at the time than I did the kids. As a child, I had friends with divorced parents and they would discuss their complicated lives of having to switch back and forth between mom and dad, all while dealing with step parents/siblings. They all told me how lucky I was to not have to deal with that, and I took pride in that.

From that point up to my adolescent life, I hung onto that knowledge of being one of the lucky ones who had parents who loved each other. But then life took an unexpected turn. I'm the oldest of three siblings and the roles in our house began to change once the economy took a bad hit. My dad was looking for a job, my mom had to go back to work, I was at home babysitting most of the time, and I started to see the rough aspects of reality. And after the death of my youngest sibling, Hunter, that reality struck - big time.

But it wasn't all bad. We ended up moving to a larger home where I finally had my own room. We've since healed from our loss and things seemed to lighten up. But the tension slowly, but surely returned and I found myself at a crossroads. My parents weren't getting along, I fought with my dad every day, my sisters were driving me insane, all my friends were moving on, I was heartbroken and simply stuck in a rut. I was trapped in a chicken coup barefooted and the only way to get out was trudge through the pecking hens and endure the sharp beaks until an out presented itself - and it did.

I moved in with my grandparents 300 miles away and started a new life. It was hard at first, but I ended up where I needed to be. However, as life continues for me, I often forget that life continues for everyone else at the place I used to call home. It's been nearly two years and since then...my mother found a new career, my dad lightened up and continues to make a strong effort to support his children, my sisters are reaching their adolescent years, many of my old friends are getting married and finding their own success, and now...my parents are divorced. I never thought I'd find myself in this situation. I never thought I'd join the club of children with parents who ceased to live with each other. And yet...I don't seem to care as much as I thought I would. Sure, it's a sad thought having a family split, but it didn't end tragically like most marriages do. There was no custody battle, no arrangments on who gets what child for a certain holiday - none! It was so weird. I was preparing myself for a huge blow, but it never came. My parents remain friends, but are simply moving on with their lives just like me.

All I can really hope for now is that they both find the happiness they each deserve. And my parents have taken the opportunity to teach me the importance of marriage, which sounds like a contradiction, but it's not. I've merely learned of what I need to consider in finding a spouse. And after this experience, I know now there's a lot more to it than I once thought. And I have my parents to thank for the happy life I'm looking forward to.

In Loving Memory

On December 29, 2002, my little brother Hunter Douglas Curran was born into our family. Just four days after Christmas, he was a true gift to all of us. I finally had a brother amongst my sisters and I was excited. Niave, sure. Many talk about how annoying their little brothers are, but as for me I'll never understand that. On August 20, 2003, he passed away. He didn't recieve any oxygen during the night and it was a hard thing to face for my parents, my siblings and I.

Having only known him for eight months, I didn't think it would hurt this badly. He left so abruptly and it left a permanant scar that no one seemed to understand. It was so traumatic waking up that morning to such sorrow and dispair just three days after my eleventh birthday. For being so young, you'd think I'd know little about a person who hasn't been on this earth for very long. But I know a lot more than I thought I did.

What's wonderful about being born and raised in a religious household is knowing that the ones who leave you never trully leave. And the ones who die before their accountable are perfected in heaven. Hunter is a perfected spirit. For a long time I still felt like his older sister and never felt his presence until I accepted that. As a missionary in heaven, Hunter is a full grown son of God who's serving Him by bringing his spirit children into the light. He is more like my older brother now and it's easy to feel his protective presence when my Mom prays for him to be with me during the hard times I face.

The day before I left for college was the aniversery of his death. My parents, siblings, grandparents and I went to his gravesite like we always did. Before leaving, we got together and said a family prayer. My mom later came to me and shared an experience I'll never forget. During that prayer, in her private thoughts she had asked Hunter to be with me after I go away. At that moment she felt inspired to look up and saw a young man, blonde hair/blue eyes - traits that run through our family, walking toward her. He put his arm around both her and my dad and said, "I'll never leave her side."

I could never thank him enough for the comfort my brother has given me. I know he's one of the many angels who are watching over me and provides daily guidance even when I don't ask for it. I'll always acknowledge that. Happy Birthday Bro. We all love you so much. I couldn't ask for a better brother.