Join the Club

Back in elementary school, I was introduced to many friends and the idea of divorce and getting remarried. Having grown up with idea of marriage supposed to be lasting a lifetime and longer, I couldn't quite grasp the concept of that. I couldn't understand why anyone would get married, then suddenly hate each other enough to cancel out everything they worked hard to build. But I didn't care so much about the parents at the time than I did the kids. As a child, I had friends with divorced parents and they would discuss their complicated lives of having to switch back and forth between mom and dad, all while dealing with step parents/siblings. They all told me how lucky I was to not have to deal with that, and I took pride in that.

From that point up to my adolescent life, I hung onto that knowledge of being one of the lucky ones who had parents who loved each other. But then life took an unexpected turn. I'm the oldest of three siblings and the roles in our house began to change once the economy took a bad hit. My dad was looking for a job, my mom had to go back to work, I was at home babysitting most of the time, and I started to see the rough aspects of reality. And after the death of my youngest sibling, Hunter, that reality struck - big time.

But it wasn't all bad. We ended up moving to a larger home where I finally had my own room. We've since healed from our loss and things seemed to lighten up. But the tension slowly, but surely returned and I found myself at a crossroads. My parents weren't getting along, I fought with my dad every day, my sisters were driving me insane, all my friends were moving on, I was heartbroken and simply stuck in a rut. I was trapped in a chicken coup barefooted and the only way to get out was trudge through the pecking hens and endure the sharp beaks until an out presented itself - and it did.

I moved in with my grandparents 300 miles away and started a new life. It was hard at first, but I ended up where I needed to be. However, as life continues for me, I often forget that life continues for everyone else at the place I used to call home. It's been nearly two years and since then...my mother found a new career, my dad lightened up and continues to make a strong effort to support his children, my sisters are reaching their adolescent years, many of my old friends are getting married and finding their own success, and now...my parents are divorced. I never thought I'd find myself in this situation. I never thought I'd join the club of children with parents who ceased to live with each other. And yet...I don't seem to care as much as I thought I would. Sure, it's a sad thought having a family split, but it didn't end tragically like most marriages do. There was no custody battle, no arrangments on who gets what child for a certain holiday - none! It was so weird. I was preparing myself for a huge blow, but it never came. My parents remain friends, but are simply moving on with their lives just like me.

All I can really hope for now is that they both find the happiness they each deserve. And my parents have taken the opportunity to teach me the importance of marriage, which sounds like a contradiction, but it's not. I've merely learned of what I need to consider in finding a spouse. And after this experience, I know now there's a lot more to it than I once thought. And I have my parents to thank for the happy life I'm looking forward to.