Love at First Sight

Love at first sight is worldly defined as: looking upon a stranger and receiving an immediate, romantic attraction to them. This concept was recorded in Greek mythology by people who could only explain this—like many other things—through the means of the gods. A person could only fall in love so quickly because Eros (Cupid) had struck them with his arrow, and bam, the deal was done.

Today, this concept, like Cupid, has become a myth. Many people don't believe that love at first sight actually exists. Well of course they don't! If you define it that way and neglect to take the idea to heart, one is not going to believe it. I'll admit I was very skeptical that love in general existed. Watching so many relationships and marriages fall apart around me, not having any romance in my life as well, I nearly gave up all hope.

But something that I've come to learn is not to define things in a worldly way, but in a spiritual way. But how does one define love at first sight, spiritually? Well let's break it down... A person is made of three entities: the mind, body and spirit. The mind is what gives us physical reactions; it's the drive of our actions, the cause of our physical feelings and so forth. It can't be seen, but we know we have one because we think. It's that simple. Our spirit is what makes us live. It has existed before the earth was created. Our spirit has been and will be the presence of God. It has been around every other spirit that walks on this earth today. It's what carries our conscience, communicates with the Holy Ghost and The Lord, passing the message to our minds and then to our bodies.

A person's spirit, I believe, is hidden deep within us and it's our choice how we project it onto others. For example, sharing our beliefs—opening our hearts and allowing a person to feel the love of The Lord that is with us. This is how a person also falls in love. You see, a person can recognize a spirit if both hearts are open to each other. It's like feeling the presence of a deceased loved one. You know they are there because you can feel them as you have felt them in the premortal existence.

This concept works the same with the living. If one truly opens their heart to the concept of falling in love. That true, happy, passionate, unconditional love that happens with one glance. They can look upon a person and see their eternal potential. And when the other person has this same mindset, both will immediately recognize each other's spirit and see their hearts through the power, knowledge and love of The Lord, and know without a doubt this person will forever be there companion. Or in other words...love at first sight.

Now I should also mention that this process can take time. One can fall in love with another, but the other may have their heart still closed off just enough for them to turn away. This is where our faith is tested, where the one who has fallen in love has to choose whether or not that feeling exists. It's an easy thing to mistake it for wishful thinking or fancying the idea of love. And truthfully, it may not mean that the feeling of love you have is romantic, but could be a prompting to show them the kindness they need to help them through a hard time. A person can love someone like a friend, a parent, a child, a teacher, etc. love does not always have to relate to romance.

But the hardest thing to determine is...which one is it? And that my friend is up to you. The first step is choosing to open your heart to all and then you’ll be guided to the ones who need the specific love you are willing to give. Eventually that one will be the person you call husband or wife. But if you are seriously confused, here is something to consider. Our body is the physical part of the three things that make up our existence. But if our spirit is underneath it all, can it feel the spirit of another? Of course it can. One of the most important forms of communication is touch. It's scientifically proven that people need physical contact to survive. It's a physical, mental and emotional need, which is why when we seek comfort, we look to someone else for a hug. When we see someone who is sad, we embrace them. And in some cases, when we look for someone to love us, we wait for that moment when our lips touch to feel that spark of confirmation.

If it’s confirmation you seek—that you have opened your heart, but still cannot determine whether or not you love them or they love you in a romantic way. Look into their eyes, for we all know that the eyes are the windows to our souls. Subtly and appropriately touch them while speaking. Rest your hand on theirs, or on their shoulder. It can be a casual conversation or something meaningful. But it doesn't even have to be subtle either. You could gather them into your arms, take their face in your hands and kiss their heart out. Either way, make that connection and listen carefully. I strongly suggest this especially if you two are having an argument or are angry with each other. When one feels anger or sadness, it's automatic for us to close our hearts to the people we have hurtful feelings toward. But touch is a strong way of keeping our hearts open and the communication of our spirits intact. It reminds us of eternity and the promises you made out loud or silently to them.

If you are still unsure of your feelings for someone, make that spiritual connection and wait for the feeling. If that feeling—and you will recognize it—does not come, then that person may not be the one for you. Or they may not return the feelings you have. That doesn't mean you should kick that person to the curb, but it may help you see where your future is going with them and decide the next, emotional step. Perhaps it'll help you see the developments you need to make for yourself, so you may eventually reach that level of love that includes forever. Whichever way it happens, if you receive that vision of love and eternity, you are truly looking at that their spirit for the first time. In other words...love at first sight.

Branded Into the Brain

I’m sure people are very much aware of the sayings, “curiosity killed the cat”, “I will never get those moments of my life back”, “scarred for life”, “My eyes! My eyes!” and so on. At some point I have used all these terms because I became very much aware of how society is corrupting the media’s innocence. I’m sure we’re all aware of the explicit stuff one can find on the internet, television, or in video stores…but what’s been going on behind the scenes is the explicit nature that appears in books--the kind of books one sees in grocery stores with half-dressed people on the front. Or as my friend shamelessly calls them, “dirty sex books”. The type of book that hasn't been very popular in the current media…until now.

A picture is worth a thousand words. But one phrase can equal a thousand pictures. And one does not forget an image as easily as print. Savannah and I--she's a friend of mine previously mentioned in my other posts--are avid readers. I have her to thank for that. But both of us had experiences where our minds were tainted by one phrase. After returning from a long trip back home, she was unpacking her stuff telling me all about her adventures until she got to the book on tape she listened to during the drive. The book itself was intense and I’ll admit sounded very interesting until she reenacted the moment where the narrator used a descriptive sentence that was clearly leading to something, well…scandalous to our ears. And when she said, “And I was like…AHHHHH!!!!!! As I was trying to fast forward…” I screamed along with her! That was seven months ago and I still can’t get it out of my head!

My recent experience was when I was looking for a book to buy on Amazon.com. I clicked on “books” and this series called, Fifty Shades of Grey came up. I had heard of it, seeing it around Wal-Mart n’ such, but never took any interest. So I clicked on it to read the summery and reviews. As it turns out, some reviews go into a lot of detail on what the book is about. Ironically, all of them were negative. Considering I had no idea that it was all about…you know what…I read the excerpt of dialogue from the book a reader provided and learned things that I will never be able to unlearn—ever. I felt like I had lost my innocence with just one sentence and now it’s permanently branded into my brain.

I then realized something. We as women scrutinize men and automatically label them as perverts for looking at explicit images. And one begins to believe that women are the superior gender for not sinking to that level. But guess what? Those dirty books are basically free, literary porn! The women who read them are no better than those perverts! I shuddered at the thought of how true propriety has gone to the dogs. A fifteen-year-old girl back in the day who has read seven, 2-inch thick novels in one week would be considered well-literate and had found better use of her time. Nowadays when I hear the same thing and find out it was the twilight series and the fifty shades of whatever…I want to burn all those pages and salvage what’s left of our youth’s decency.

Those books that I’ve seen in grocery stores have in certain ways looked more appealing to adults than to teenagers. Basically it was because the book was thick, the print was small, and the cover looked like it was printed in the 80’s--the same basic characteristics of a textbook that a student loves to hate. However, when twilight came out the print was larger, a brand new font was used for the title, the cover was glossy and one bold picture was put on the front. This was an eye-catching trend because it was different and therefore it sparked curiosity and BOOM! It sold millions of copies. The same tactic is being used again, but with explicit content and parents don’t even know about it. They can assume it’s just another twilight book and will never know that the pictures on the front are actually used for sexual situations.

One may think because it’s not labeled as pornography, they're not doing anything wrong. But slowly your spirit will become negatively affected. Because once it’s deep in your subconscious, it’ll never go away. And if you let it build until it reaches the shallow surface of your mind, it can destroy you in many tragic ways. And it all starts with one book where you can say, "It's so good except for this one part..." For me, I allowed myself to read those kind of books, thinking I knew better to skip over those parts and focus on the story. Then I realized how often I would go back to read the parts I missed...then I would keep reading them over and over...and then I found myself depending on them for false happiness. When I took a good look at myself, I saw the dark place I put myself in and worked very hard every day to get back to my better self. What I'm saying is, I'v been there and there's a way to fix it as long as the person is willing. You'll get to a point where you'll see the difference between a good book and a candy bar novel--it's enough to satisfy a sweet tooth...but its all empty calories.

Pride & Prejudice

Since January of 2012 I have read approximately 150 novels. I consider it quite the accomplishment on my behalf. It’s helped me become more literate and reminded me how much free time I have, which I believe can be better spent getting a life—however, I enjoyed reading all of them. For my fiftieth novel, I chose one of the most well-known, revered and highly loved books, “Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austen. At one time I had absolute no interest in doing so. The language looked far too complex to understand and the thickness of it intimidated me. But I was later convinced. Here’s how…

While recovering from surgery, I spent a lot of time watching TV. And I was just about sick and tired of sitting through another cooking show. So I surfed the cable guide and saw a certain channel showing the 2005 version of “Pride and Prejudice”. With it being so late in the evening and in true desperation, I watched it. And throughout the entire movie…I laughed, I cried, I gasped, I sighed…and all in all, fell in love with the story. Knowing what I was getting into, I decided to get past my fears and read the book.
Here’s a brief synopsis…Elizabeth Bennet is the second oldest of her five sisters. Their mother is very eager to marry them off to rich husbands and each have a different opinion in the matter. Elizabeth personally believes in marrying for love and won’t settle for anything less. She meets the very high class, Mr. Darcy and immediately sees him someone who is prideful and snobbish. Both assume the worst of each other until their time spent in each other’s company, as well as admirable deeds done on their own time, prove those assumptions wrong.

For so long, I’ve listened to female readers gush about Mr. Darcy, and I had no idea why—even when I watched the movie. Okay, I had some idea…one can hardly resist the succulent voice of Matthew Macfadyen. But as I started reading this book, I slowly realized how all thoughts and explanations that one doesn’t hear in a movie is what brings Mr. Darcy’s character to life in the most realistic way. Elizabeth’s way of thinking is much similar to my own. When I see a person walk with an air about them that’s straight postured, always looking forward with a brooding face, wearing expensive clothing, being anti-social; I immediately assume they think they’re better me—that their “too big for their britches” so to speak.

With Elizabeth being lighthearted and knowing her personality would put Mr. Darcy out of his comfort zone, she did so with every intention to counteract his behavior towards her. But she was still judgmental. It took seeing his good ways and hearing accounts from the people closest to him to see how kind and generous he is. But at the same time, in a certain way he did find himself to be superior towards her. So when he (spoiler alert) asked for Elizabeth’s hand in marriage, his pride was hurt when she degraded his character—based off false information—and said no.

But here’s what makes him ever so dreamy. He’s one of those perfectly imperfect people. He lets go of his pride and loves her enough that despite the ill will she expressed towards him, he jumped through hoops and did everything in his power to help her in times of need. Even after she told him off, he remained civil and kind hearted towards her, all for the sake of wanting her to be happy—the mark of an absolute gentleman. Because of that she saw better of him and let go of her pride to admit that she was wrong. That was the “now I get it” moment for me.

A couple of lessons I noticed throughout this book. One: to assume makes an “A--” out of “u” and “me”. Two: get everyone’s side of the story before you believe one’s interpretation. Three: gossip will get you nowhere. Four: always be civil to one another. You never know if you’ll need a favor from them later. Five: always marry for love.
In modern society, men are not quite as refined as those who existed in this book’s era. And to be truly honest, I’m okay with it. My personal preference are men who work hard and aren’t afraid of getting their hands dirty. However, I refuse to believe that true chivalry will ever die. It is rare of course, but so long as women crave the attention of men who are remotely like Mr. Darcy, hopefully men will take the hint and see that being a gentleman will take them far. At the same time women can learn patience, acceptance and the cliché proverb, “Don’t judge a book by it’s a cover”—A phrase that I’ve used both figuratively and literally this week.

Here's to you, Mom

On behalf of mothers all over the world, I wish every day, people everywhere all took the time to express how much we love and appreciate all that you are and stand for. You have endured willingly, countless hours of nuturing and raising tender souls for the sake of pure and unconditional love. It is only one day a year that women can enjoy the recognition of being a part of such a spiritual and sacred calling I've grown to respect.

All I've ever wanted and will always want to be is a wife and mother. I can't think of anything more rewarding than being the soul nuturer of my family. Sure, you may think that it's easy for me to say now. Being a young adult and single does attest to that. However, because I obviously can't aquire those blessings tomorrow and need a career to support myself, I've chosen a field relatively close. I am what I like to call a "Childcare Profesional" but I'm basically a daycare worker/preschool teacher. My job is to tend to the emotional/physical/academic needs of 30+ children all between the ages of 0 to 12, 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, for minimum wage. And it is so far the best job I have ever had.

My daily routine goes as followed: I show up at the facility, wipe down the urine covered toilet seats - occasionally some other areas - then I set up the mats for naptime and supervise the kids outside while they're getting washed up for lunch. Once they'v eaten, one by one I make sure all have used the bathroom before they take a nap and direct them to their mat. After all is quiet, I go to the infant room to supervise the sleeping babies while teachers go on their breaks. This is the time where I clean, feed the infants, burb them and get thrown up on. The first day this happened, my mother said, "Welcome to our wonderful, vomitous world." And it's true. Over time, one cannot help but smile after babies let out a loud one after downing 6 ounces. Continuing on, during nap I set up the afternoon snack of the day, then wake all the kids up to eat. And I tell ya, waking up a sleeping child is like poking bear with a stick - one should always go in expecting to lose an appendage. After all the mats are put away, I supervize some more, clean the facility, set up dinner and spend the entire day recieving the unconditional love of a child. It's a job where I'm garunteed a hug every day.

Now, I only say this because what I do is only a taste of what mothers do 24/7. They don't get to go home and relax at the end of the day, nor do they get paid for it. And my job is only temporary. Once that moment of my life comes where I'll have to move on, I'll be leaving all those kids behind, whereas for mothers it's a lifetime experience. I look at my own mother and see all the sacrifices she has made and I'm sure there are a lot more that go unnoticed. I see a beautiful, nuturing woman who will gladly give up anything for the sake of her children. It is her example alone that has taught me how to teach the kids at my school. She has endured so much and I have no idea how she manages it all. But I am proud to be her daughter and can only hope to be just as marvelous as she is.

I called her up to wish her a happy mother's day and she said, "Happy Mother's Day to you." I asked her why she would tell me that considering I'm not a mother. And she said, "Without you, I couldn't be a mother. And one day, you're going to be a mother, too. But mostly, you dedicate yourself to helping children grow every day. Although you don't have the soul role as mom, you are a mother."

It's that conformation alone that I can look forward to the wonderful, vomitous world of motherhood. I love you, mom. Happy Mother's Day.

In a World of Color

We live in a world of color--surrounded by a vast spectrum of many different shades and hues that affect our mind and body in certain ways. The human body can physically react to certain colors that can affect our mood and functions. For example, blue helps to calm, indigo develops mental capacity, and green can supposedly relax the eye muscles. Psychology tells us that specific colors apply to specific personalities. Based on who they are, they could either be a red, blue, yellow or white. Yes, I have taken those personality tests many times and guess what? It changes every time. I honestly think it's a huge load of balony so to speak. So I've developed a different theory.

First off, there's more colors than the four that were mentioned. Gasp! No way! Anywho...each color denotes a different feeling. Here's an example... ORANGE--Helps to get rid of unpleasant emotions and forgive people, helps through hard times (broken relations, death of someone close) and assists in solving problems. It is the color of change between two opposing factors. If you are at a loss or have doubts, use orange. Orange is vibrant. It brings forth energy, rhythm, joy, emotion and cheerfulness.

This is where my theory steps in. Some people lack certain colors in their life and if one were to be in a constant shade of black, then their going to feel like death most of the time. If one were to make an effort to surround themselves in the color orange, slowly the subconscious will recognize it as a positive color and help with the daily problems associated with what orange can help heal.

For me, I was living in a bla kind of world. I lacked a lot of emotion and nothing was going on in my life. You could say I was surrounded in a lot of gray--a cool, conservative color that seldom evokes strong emotion, although it can be seen as a cloudy or moody color. Yeah...I wasn't that fun at parties until I made the best decision to move in with these two girls who had yellow and orange kind of personalites--bright, organized and concentrated--exactly what I needed. And they decided it was time to bring out the hidden side of me, burried beneath the clouds.

RED--Evokes a sense of safety and confidence in the future, helps to cope with life problems. Red can have a physical effect, increasing the rate of respiration and raising blood pressure. It stimulates the nervous system and releases adrenalin. Red is hot. It’s a strong color that conjures up a range of seemingly conflicting emotions from passionate love to violence and warfare. It denotes fire, heat, passion, aggression and anger, at the same time symbolizing life, energy, activeness, struggle and will.

Woah! How's that for a complete 180? I thought it was crazy and that it would never happen, all up until Savannah--remember her? She used a subtle approach in lending me a rather delicious book by the queen of kissing herself, Marcia Lynn McClure. If you read my previous posts, you'll know what I mean. She even sent me--not exagerating--36 text messages comparing the natural, heavy blush on my face to various red objects. Since then, I decided to take a personal effort in actually surrounding myself with those colors more often. I wore red lipstick, bought a red dress, wrote things down in a red pen and I honestly I find myself in a more energetic state. I feel like I can speak freely--strongly making my point without the worry of what others will think. I don't exactly live a life of passion...yet ;)...but it makes each day that much more enticing to live.

Ultimately, it's all about you. That's the only time you'll ever hear that, but it's true. You choose what you want to be and how you want others to see you. If you want to be more sensitive to others, use more pink. If you need peace, use more green. If you want to become more spiritual, use more white. You were born a blank canvas with many colors to choose from. You have the tools, now it's up to you to paint the beautiful masterpiece you were meant to create.

Remember those 36 texts? Well here's a few just for kicks and giggles...

Beet red.
Fire truck red.
Cherry jello red.
Pomegranate red.
Blood red.
Strawberry watermelon red.
Snow white’s apple red.
Checkered picnic blanket red.
Dixie red rock red.
My fully-clothed hugging balloon red.
Marlene’s hair red.
My polka-dot bedspread red.
Laser beam red.
Happy tulips red.
Long johns red.
Crappy photo retina reflection red eye red.
Cherry cordial chocolate chip ice cream red.
Cherry on top of delicious banana split complete with hot fudge, sprinkles, whipped cream, and Oreos red.
Rhubarb pie red.
Red raspberry cheesecake bites from krave red.
Free parking space on a monopoly board red.
Huggies diaper box red.
Half of google chrome’s logo red.
Robin Scherbatsky’s bedroom red.
Your smokin’ hot, ruby red lipstick red.
Delicious salmon with melted butter and lemon zest and oregano red.
Your sexy red shoes that match with your Spanish rose dress red.
Bright ribbons on a surprise Christmas package red.
And my personal favorite...As red as a (certain someone's) delicious power tie.

I purposely took out his name, otherwise I'll never live it down incase he sees this. But the last one has turned into the biggest inside joke I'll ever be a part of. While we're on that note, let me tell you men...you can't go wrong with a red tie. It just so happens to be a weakness of mine. ;)

Join the Club

Back in elementary school, I was introduced to many friends and the idea of divorce and getting remarried. Having grown up with idea of marriage supposed to be lasting a lifetime and longer, I couldn't quite grasp the concept of that. I couldn't understand why anyone would get married, then suddenly hate each other enough to cancel out everything they worked hard to build. But I didn't care so much about the parents at the time than I did the kids. As a child, I had friends with divorced parents and they would discuss their complicated lives of having to switch back and forth between mom and dad, all while dealing with step parents/siblings. They all told me how lucky I was to not have to deal with that, and I took pride in that.

From that point up to my adolescent life, I hung onto that knowledge of being one of the lucky ones who had parents who loved each other. But then life took an unexpected turn. I'm the oldest of three siblings and the roles in our house began to change once the economy took a bad hit. My dad was looking for a job, my mom had to go back to work, I was at home babysitting most of the time, and I started to see the rough aspects of reality. And after the death of my youngest sibling, Hunter, that reality struck - big time.

But it wasn't all bad. We ended up moving to a larger home where I finally had my own room. We've since healed from our loss and things seemed to lighten up. But the tension slowly, but surely returned and I found myself at a crossroads. My parents weren't getting along, I fought with my dad every day, my sisters were driving me insane, all my friends were moving on, I was heartbroken and simply stuck in a rut. I was trapped in a chicken coup barefooted and the only way to get out was trudge through the pecking hens and endure the sharp beaks until an out presented itself - and it did.

I moved in with my grandparents 300 miles away and started a new life. It was hard at first, but I ended up where I needed to be. However, as life continues for me, I often forget that life continues for everyone else at the place I used to call home. It's been nearly two years and since then...my mother found a new career, my dad lightened up and continues to make a strong effort to support his children, my sisters are reaching their adolescent years, many of my old friends are getting married and finding their own success, and now...my parents are divorced. I never thought I'd find myself in this situation. I never thought I'd join the club of children with parents who ceased to live with each other. And yet...I don't seem to care as much as I thought I would. Sure, it's a sad thought having a family split, but it didn't end tragically like most marriages do. There was no custody battle, no arrangments on who gets what child for a certain holiday - none! It was so weird. I was preparing myself for a huge blow, but it never came. My parents remain friends, but are simply moving on with their lives just like me.

All I can really hope for now is that they both find the happiness they each deserve. And my parents have taken the opportunity to teach me the importance of marriage, which sounds like a contradiction, but it's not. I've merely learned of what I need to consider in finding a spouse. And after this experience, I know now there's a lot more to it than I once thought. And I have my parents to thank for the happy life I'm looking forward to.